This article is for you if you:
1) Have a negative self dialogue.
2) Believe that your happiness lies outside of yourself. For e.g. I’ll be happy when…..I get a job, buy a car, have a relationship, get well, end this relationship….etc.
3) Set goals that you believe you “should” have, not particularly what you want.
4) Try to find stability through the world around you, for example, through your job, relationships, family, do you find yourself having to be reassured and placated?
5) Do not trust. The universe, yourself, other people.
I recently read an article that really stood out to me. It’s nothing new to me but it put it in such a way that I knew it was to be the topic of my next newsletter. The title of it is “The secret to success is stillness” by Sandi C Newbigging.
“Success appears to mean different things to different people. For some, it might be optimum health, while others associate it with financial wealth or reaching the top of their organisation or profession. Irrespective of your personal benchmark for what a successful life looks like, it is only in discovering the inner presence of stillness that you can feel a true and lasting sense of satisfaction.
Like the surface of the ocean, your thoughts, emotions, body, career, relationships, finances and all other aspects of your external world are constantly changing. That’s what they do. Thoughts and emotions happen while the body does its thing. New people enter your life as others leave. Careers change, political parties rise and fall and economic climates changes as quickly as the weather.”
There are only a few guarantees in this world and change is one of them. Everything changes, everything moves, there are no constants yet we try to attain stability every day by trying to control the very things that change! I’ve seen people chase after financial stability to loose it all overnight, I’ve seen people feel that once they were in a relationship that they would feel secure, and they did, for a moment before the relationship ended and they felt lost again and I’ve listened to people talk about how they’ll be happy when they’re made permanent or they have a certain amount of money in the bank. When we look for safety and stability in any or all of the areas we wil never achieve it! Its like saying I’ll feel in control (ie safe and secure) when the weather is the same for exactly 365 days! Impossible!!!
Yes, we’re all looking for constancy, security and safety in this ever changing world. It’s important for us to feel these emotions, so how can you achieve them? Answer: Stillness, inner stillness. The constancy of your heart beat and your breath, the rise and fall of your chest as your breath goes in and out. Think about it, they’re the only things that are constant in your life: Your heart beat and your breath. They are the same from one moment to the next. Yes, the rate and depth of your breath will change as will the rate of your heartbeat but they will still be there, always present, always constant.
“Shifting where you put your attention – from the mind to consciousness – immediately reconnects you with calm, contentment, love and happiness and as a result, true success.
Something magical happens when you are courageous enough to withdraw your attention from judgemental thinking by placing it on the inner awareness of stillness. Life stops being good or bad, right or wrong, better or worse, and you see that everything just is.”
When I read this I automatically thought of the ocean. If our life, career, friendships, relationships, health, wealth, home, etc are the waves, then stillness is about 1 to 2 metres underneath. It is that point from which we can look up at the waves, see if they’re turbulent or calm, big or small, and allow them to happen without judgement, observing and noticing, accepting and trusting that after the turbulence will be calmness, and there will be turbulence again but that’s ok as you have the safety and security of that place of stillness.
How do you reach this point of stillness, calmness and non-judgement? Meditation is the easiest, quickest and most effective way to get you living in this place. Meditation helps you to find that place underneath the waves and it can be done with just a couple of minutes practise a day!
With meditation, you can let go of control, have more trust and while “you don’t ignore whats happening in your life, you ignore the judgements you mind has about your life” as you move into the constancy of stillness, and that is a real success in your life.
Click here for an article on meditation – what it is and how to do it.