• Ellen Shilling

If not you, then who?

Love after Love

The time will come when, with elation you will greet yourself arriving at your own door, in your own mirror and each will smile at the other's welcome, and say, sit here. Eat. You will love again the stranger who was your self. Give wine. Give bread. Give back your heart to itself, to the stranger who has loved you all your life, whom you ignored for another, who knows you by heart. Take down the love letters from the bookshelf, the photographs, the desperate notes, peel your own image from the mirror. Sit. Feast on your life. Derek Walcott

I love this poem, it speaks to me exactly what life is all about. The longest most enduring relationship that you will ever have in your life is not with your parents, your partner, your pet, or your siblings, it is with yourself.

How is this relationship? Most people will say, not so good, not so positive. Now imagine how your life would change if you were just a little bit kinder, more compassionate and more encouraging to yourself. How would life be? How would you deal with adversity if you talked to yourself the way you do to your best friend? How easy would it be to achieve your goals if you encouraged yourself? How much happier would you be in yourself and then consequently in your relationships, your work, your life?

How? Well the answer is up to you really, as you know yourself, but here are some ideas for you to get you started:

  • Mindfulness

  • Meditation

  • Check out the podcasts and work of Tara Brach, Sharon Salzberg and Kristen Neff.

  • Self care strategy

Neuroplasticity has shown us that what you practice grows stronger so physiologically it is possible to train ourselves to become more self-compassionate and like anything new, it will feel a little awkward at first but the more you do it the easier it will become.

A simple step at a time.


New Meditation and Mindfulness courses will be starting in October, check out the events page for more info: here.


get in touch

7 Carysfort Avenue,


Dublin, Ireland 

Eircode - A94 K6Y5

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+ 353 86 682 4401