I recently was lucky enough to get married. I know it's a cliche but I can honestly say that it was the best day of my life. The ceremony was celtic and so special to both of us, our guests were in a circle all around us, it felt so intimate, I could nearly feel the love and well wishes coming from each and every person!
All the months of planning and organising was worth it! And the party after was the best I'd ever been to (I'm not biased at all!)
So it's fair to say that i was on a high for the months coming up to it and for the day itself and a few days after....and then I crashed.....
What comes up must come down and down I came. I started to suffer from Attention Deficit Disorder - i.e. I wasn't getting ANY attention and my inner diva did not like it! I never knew about all the fuss before a wedding and for 8 months since we got engaged that's all everyone asked me about. In spite of vowing I wouldn't get caught up in the production of a wedding, I kind of did and I was a bit lost when it was over.
I couldn't bring myself to meditate. All I could do was talk about the wedding (whilst on honeymoon, one poor woman only smiled at me and I started telling her all about it, she was a total stranger), look at photos of it and watch the videos.
Then we came home and it really hit. Bereft of sunshine the reality dawned and I thought, how on earth am I going to get back into work! I could barely look at the laptop let alone open it.
I hadn't meditated in over two weeks and I was beginning to irritate myself. So i thought, ok I'll just do 5 minutes.
And that 5 minutes sparked something in me again. I felt myself turning back towards myself if that makes sense. Like my whole focus had been on the exterior, what was happening out in my world but I'd neglected my inner world.
The next day I meditated for 10 minutes and I could feel that spark getting bigger and as I focused on it I could truly feel a deep deep happiness in my heart even though my ego was sad, upset and annoyed the wedding was over.
The following day I meditated for 15 minutes and I was able to tune into the happiness quickly and really feel how content and supported I feel in my heart and I was able to let go of the ramblings of the ego
I'd found peace again.
I had known it all along, but sometimes we need to learn things a few times! That is - it's worth taking a break from all forms of meditation be it guided, mindfulness, TCM or other, just so you can be reminded of what it does for you when you go back. I find that now my passion for it has been re-ignited and I can't wait for my next rotation of classes
Thanks for reading
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